


The symptoms of love (and a stroke)

by Kai_Lu



Series: Crystalline Lilac [3]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Post-Black Organization Takedown (Meitantei Conan), Post-Canon, Post-Conan Kudou Shinichi, This Is STUPID, Unbeta'd, also, also ran/masumi is kinda really really minor here, also the OCs are minor peeps that I occasionally bring up now and again, also you can read this without the other ones, but DOMINO THE CAT IS BACK, but not really because it's post-canon, inspired by that one tumblr post, only dumb shit, so i didn't tag it as a relationship, there is barely any romance here, you'll just miss some small references there and again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24112978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kai_Lu/pseuds/Kai_Lu
Summary: From.Domino is a murderer I am telling you:《hehe what would happen if you looked down and saw me super tiny like just 3 inches tall on the floor at your feet in your bedroom? :P hehe just imagine. Be dark if you want it's just a fantasy :P Make it a detailed answer :P》Seeing the words on the phone just caused Shinichi to blue screen.
Relationships: Haibara Ai | Miyano Shiho & Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan, Hakuba Saguru & Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan, Hattori Heiji & Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan, Hattori Heiji & Sera Masumi, Hattori Heiji & Tooyama Kazuha, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan & Mouri Ran, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan & Sera Masumi, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid, Mouri Ran & Suzuki Sonoko
Series: Crystalline Lilac [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1361134
Comments: 15
Kudos: 50





	The symptoms of love (and a stroke)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [That one tumblr post ;)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/618520) by grimelords. 



> This is unbeta'd, and also so fucking stupid. I am so sorry, but it's 4 am so that means impulsively uploading the fics that I just wrote because my beta and voice of reason is currently unconscious so she can't stop me. Please let me know of any errors.

Careful not to spill his drink, Shinichi quickly made his way to his next lecture. It was fortunate that the barista’s at the campus café practically memorised his order – and also the fact that he’s boring and too lazy to change up his order to keep things fresh, according to Kaito – Shinichi was able to enter the allocated hall with a minute to spare.

Greeting Hattori from their usual seats, Shinichi set down his drink and started to unpack his books. He also pointedly ignored the snickers from the Osakan when his calculator and phone decided to nearly assassinate his classmate, Hiraki, from the row in front of them.

Shinichi’s phone buzzed from a notification when the lecturer walked in. Could it be something important? Shinichi glanced at the name – Kaito?

He then quickly went through this morning’s events to see if there were any possible reasons to why the magician was messaging him, all well knowing that Shinichi would technically be in his lecture at this time.

(It’s also because the magician has memorised Shinichi’s class schedule to have a guideline to when Shinichi is supposed to usually be home, and determine whether it could be traffic or a case that is keeping him back.

And Shinichi doesn’t admit it, but he’s also become dependent on Kaito for knowing what classes he has for the day – because who wants to waste the limited space in your head with schedules when your boyfriend has an eidetic memory and you could use that space to remember important information about the latest murder cases and which cafes have the best coffee.)

But this morning wasn’t anything spectacularly different from any other. The two woke up at their normal time – Kaito from Domino deciding to apparently step it up in murdering him in his sleep and Shinichi from Kaito’s screams.

(Seriously, Domino is a sweetheart. Shinichi doesn’t understand why Kaito wouldn’t get along with him – making up strange excuses like Domino being a criminal mastermind in the art of emotional manipulation and dove sniping. And maybe last time, letting Domino shed on Kaito’s ‘bed territory’ wasn’t the best idea for the two to get along, but Shinichi was pissed that time so that doesn’t count.)

After some breakfast and chatter about random topics that ranged from dove eggs to joking about Domino being secretly a spy cat sent from one of the many government agencies that Shinichi has come to know to recruit him. It was pretty ordinary in their books.

So, letting curiosity get the best of him, Shinichi quietly unlocked his phone to read the new message from Kaito.

**_From._ **

**_Domino is a murderer I am telling you:_ **

**_《hehe what would happen if you looked down and saw me super tiny like just 3 inches tall on the floor at your feet in your bedroom? :P hehe just imagine. Be dark if you want it's just a fantasy :P Make it a detailed answer :P_ ** **_》_ **

Seeing the words on the phone just caused Shinichi to blue screen. Hattori himself only caught the tail end of the reaction but still muffled a snort at the blank expression that was on Shinichi’s face, and accidentally drew some concerned but amused looks from his classmates – who are also good students who then returned to the lecture before them.

Meanwhile, still blinking and trying to process what he just read, Shinichi carefully sent back a text in an attempt to eloquently convey what was running through his mind as he was trying to comprehend what on earth Kaito just sent him.

**_From._ **

**_Domino is the only one in my heart:_ **

**_《What?_ ** **_》_ **

He is a wordsmith in the making. Forget about being a detective, Shinichi could just follow the footsteps of this father.

However, Shinichi got a response a minute later.

**_From._ **

**_Domino is a murderer I am telling you:_ **

**_《Hmm_ ** **_》_ **

Feigning innocence, what a bastard.

There is also the fact that Kaito just sent that message(?) and it is still directly above so there is no way Shinichi could have just hallucinated that – there is also the fact that Shinichi has seen some weird shit in his life and he is very sure that he would never come up with something like that.

Also what was that. Kaito. What could that mean? It was so Kaito but not at the same time. And why would he sent it at a time when he knows that Shinichi is in class so that any messages during that time would usually be considered to be very important and ranked on the level of immediate emergency. So, what the fuck was that, he just witnessed.

“Oi….. Kudou?” Poked Hattori from his side. Shinichi continued to remain silent and focused on crafting his next response.

**_From._ **

**_Domino is the only one in my heart:_ **

**_《Are you having a stroke?_ ** **_》_ **

Either that or Shinichi himself was having a stroke. Is this what having a stroke feels like? He’s already experienced something like borderline cardiac arrest, so experiencing a stroke isn’t too farfetched.

There's also the fact that Shinichi did distinctly remember Haibara nagging him two days ago about the data she had collected after his monthly check-up. Something about stress and relapse risks – he kind of zoned out when she spoke about writing up a plan to limit his daily caffeine intake. 

Shit. Is this a sign that he and coffee were never meant to be?

And whilst caught up in his sudden fall into mourning for his caffeine in-take, Hattori was slight (read: very) off-put by the lack of response from his best friend.

“Oi, dude. Are you alive?” Grumbled Hattori, now shifting Shinichi’s desk about to disrupt its orderly-ness – because Hattori is a heathen who only brings a single pencil and notebook to the lectures because it’s a pain to carry everything to a class where the lecturer spends 40% of it on a tangent, 20% struggling to play a video, and the remaining 40% was because Hattori doesn’t even bother to show up.

“Cause if yah ain’t, I’m gonna yeet your coffee into the nth dimension, you pickled gingersnap.” Again, Shinichi ignored his best friend’s growing annoyance, which then switched to concern when he saw what Shinichi was busy searching up.

The symptoms of a stroke can include sudden numbness in arm and limbs, especially to one side. Sudden unexplainable confusion, difficultly speaking, or understanding speech. Other symptoms are also trouble seeing in one or both eyes. The list continued. Good ol’ Mayo Clinic – the hero all biology students need.

Unbeknownst to the Tokyo sleuth, the two – Shinichi remaining oblivious to the fact that Hattori’s face was busy single-handedly performing Hamlet through his expressions of fear and utter confusion – also began to re-attract the attention of their classmates. Shinichi also further fuelled their growing concern as he was muttering about his findings on strokes and their correlation to immunity relapses.

Takeda from the row behind them raised his hand. “Um, sir. Can we call reception to send Hattori and Kudou to the infirmary?”

“They ain’t looking, or sounding, so good.” Commented Hiraki.

The lecturer honestly should have seen it coming but moved to call reception.

(It was a slight annoyance since he was just about to discuss the importance of understanding the proton-proton chain, and not get it mixed up with photon-photon scattering as he did in his final paper, which almost cost him his PHD.)

When asked for a reason, the lecture just sighed and said, “It’s Kudou and Hattori. One is going on about experiencing a stroke or immunity relapse and the other looks like he is in the midst of one. Just make sure Tomikazu-sensei is in office. He knows how to deal with them.”

And not too long later, some campus staff in white coats came in to take the two detectives to the infirmary. Hiraki also caught it on video and spontaneously uploaded to the university page. It was an online riot and tabloid article in itself.

>ㅇㅅㅇ<

Ran was the first of their friendship group to catch wind of this – also because she goes to the same university as them and has anything tagged under Shinichi to give her an alert – when she checked her phone for any messages whilst taking a break.

The moment she saw the notification of a video being uploaded to the Students’ social media page with both Shinichi and Hattori being tagged in the description. She was instantly concerned.

Uploaded by Hiraki Kazuya, about 17 minutes ago – from Ran’s memory, she did remember the two talking about a Hiraki in their physics lectures, which also apparently started half an hour ago.

**_Description:_ ** _RIP to our darling detectives of Waseda’s PHYS1174. The culprit is a stroke and immunity relapse(?)._

Once reading the last sentence, Ran frantically moved to pack her things – much to the displeasure of the other law students who were busy studying – and all but sprinted to the infirmary. She also sent a text to the group chat.

**_From._ **

**_I will snap your spine:_ **

**_《Shinichi and Hattori – stronk_ ** **_》_ **

**_《and immune relap_ ** **_》_ **

**_From._ **

**_Bike-babe:_ **

**_《lol stronk_ ** **_》_ **

**_From._ **

**_I will snap your spine:_ **

**_《*STROKE AND IMMUNITY RELAPSE. At infirmary._ ** **_》_ **

**_From._ **

**_Makoto-san is the best s/o you can’t argue w/ me:_ **

**_《WHAT???!!_ ** **_》_ **

**_From._ **

**_Bike-babe:_ **

**_《im w/ hana-bae sensei rn so ill be rite there_ ** **_》_ **

**_《also @i’m animal crossing furniture ;) @these hands aren’t the only things that are magical_ ** **_》_ **

**_《look at the chat!!!_ ** **_》_ **

Thank goodness for Masumi.

And with the infirmary insight, Ran prepared herself to either scream at the two detectives in concern or anger at their luck of being sent in for an apparent stroke and immunity relapse.

The multitude of speculative comments on the video did not soothe her worries at all.

**Top Comments:**

**> > I heard that Hattori-kun went into a frenzy**

**> >> pics or it didn’t happen**

**> > Didn’t Kudou go to infirmary and hospital like a month ago??**

**> >> oof but I think it was for a gunshot or something**

**> > Smth about immunity???? Relapse??? I may not be a science student but ain’t that bad?**

**> >> no shit sherlock**

**> >>> i- I feel attacked. This is why I am studying the art of the blade, you rude pompous ass sonovab-**

** Read more **

Keeping in mind not to scare the receptionist, Ran gently pushed the door and entered the building.

“I’m here for Kudou Shinichi and Hattori Heiji.”

Masumi also entered the building not too long after.

>ㅇㅅㅇ<

Kaito would have to say that his day started off pretty normal. Waking up in bed with his beloved by his side, the damn cat also there too but this time, Domino was most definitely upping up the ante to kill him – because Shinichi, it was glaring at me this morning, glaring, Shinichi!

Its paw was up and ready to swing it down into his eyeballs. And no he was not imagining things. Also, what kind of cat knows about to scale the fridge and know when to leave their cans of food there so that when Kaito opens the door it falls on his head? A government secret spy cat would! And considering how popular Shinichi is with all those acronym agencies, he wouldn’t not be inclined to believe that they could train one just to recruit Shinichi.

So to summarise, Kaito does not like Domino one bit. But that aside, it was a pretty normal day.

He only had two back-to-back lectures before having to go to the theatre to help out the newbies with the rigging and little knick-knacks that came with the stage. He still had to figure out a way to stop Minako from ending three steps away from a mental break down whenever her magic tricks didn’t go 100% to plan.

Kaito also spent the time during his snack breaks to message Shinichi, of course keeping an eye on the time to not be distracting the detective during his classes, because he is a good and responsible boyfriend.

**_From._ **

**_Domino is a murderer I am telling you:_ **

**_《Maybe we should invest in a crate? Because that abomination that you call a sweetheart would definitely be at home – I just need to add the details like some slightly shredded asylum padding and a cat-sized straitjacket._ ** **_》_ **

However, it was at 1:02 pm when he sent Shinichi another text – fully knowing that he had just started his physics lecture – but also unknowing of the chaos that he just caused before the eyes of the speculative audience that is Shinichi’s physics class, and later the online netizens.

Who knew that that one single impulsive and stupid text that was inspired by a single Tumblr post would lead to something like this.

>ㅇㅅㅇ<

Ran sat in the guest chair as she glared at the two detectives.

“I cannot believe you two.”

Utterly embarrassed at the situation at hand, Shinichi was currently buried under the blanket of the cot – the only indication that it was him was the lone cowlick that stubbornly stuck out from the sheets – in a lame attempt to suffocate himself.

Meanwhile, Hattori was sitting in his own cot and was busy staring at the wall in silence, pretending to busy himself with reading the various posters on health and other medically informative pieces of decorative poster paper that was on the wall.

The rest of their friends that were present consisted of only Sera and Kazuha, since Sonoko and Aoko are currently in class – they were also told by Ran to not bother because she was enough to beat some sense into the two; the two were somewhat afraid of the hidden meaning but agreed –, Hakuba was currently occupied with the police and Kaito was still on his way.

Sera had the face of relief but instantly recovered by already teasing Shinichi, and loudly laughing from his bedside. Kazuha, on the other hand, was holding on to Ran’s shoulder – perhaps it was to stop Ran from getting up and just simply pummelling the two for the worry they caused, or maybe it was for herself to not go over and dislocate Hattori’s arm for being dramatic.

“I’m so sorry.” Said Shinichi, still refusing to exit from his cocoon of blanket.

Ran made a huff of irritated agreement. “You better be.”

“And Heiji?” Growled out Kazuha.

“M-my bad,” stuttered out the Osakan, after receiving a not so gentle elbow jab to the ribs by Sera.

It was then that Kaito entered the infirmary, frazzled. “Shinichi are you okay?!” He was then met with an irritated glare from Ran.

Kaito felt like that he should apologise, for what, he didn’t know. But he wasn’t going to risk facing Mouri Ran’s fury just because he did say a two worded sentence – also because that girl is capable of crushing concrete with her bare fists and he doesn’t want his bones to become powder.

“Um. I’m sorry…?”

Omake

Tomikazu Mitsuo was having a relatively peaceful day, which was also meant a very good one since nobody (cough, Kudou-kun) has stumbled into the building with any injuries (cough, a gunshot wound). The key term in this recount is the word, was.

He was in the middle of reading an email from the Vice-Chancellor when his desk phone rang. What he did not expect on a typical Wednesday, at a bit past noon, was that two of the university’s renown detectives would be sent to the infirmary.

The moment that the medical volunteers and personnel finished laying the two boys down on the cots, Mitsuo was already up and walking over with their medical files in hand.

“The students said that Hattori-kun was undergoing a… stroke?” relayed Kei. “And Kudou-kun has been rather unresponsive. But the students heard him muttering something about the correlation between a stroke and immunity relapse.”

Mitsuo sighed and thanked the younger. “You can return to the reception desk, Kei-kun.” Then turned back to focus on the two students. The easiest thing to determine is that Hattori-kun was most definitely not undergoing a stroke.

If the boy actually was, and that the supposably trained medical staff on this campus have just laid the boy down on a bed without any further testing, Mitsuo was already able to imagine the boy’s parents and many other parents, storming the university.

But fortunately, Hattori-kun was not undergoing a stroke. His medical records also state the there is no problem of any hereditary issues deliberating illnesses. So, if anything, it looked like the boy had decided to change careers to become a mime sensation.

Meanwhile, Kudou-kun is a bit of a more worrisome patient. Several pages long on classified information relating to a condition that has resulted in a weakened heart, a recent gunshot wound – that incident nearly sent Mitsuo himself into cardiac arrest – and immunity to some compounds of anaesthesia.

However, the boy makes up for the absolute nightmare of a patient he is with his politeness and sincerity in the fact that he did not wish to get shot in the first place. Mitsuo would take that.

But that still draws the problem of the current situation.

“What the fuck…..” whispered Mitsuo. He also silently prayed that Mouri-san wouldn’t kick down the door to the actual building this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. I kind of just lost it and the plot got here???? Also, it's very boring I am so sorry. But hey! I updated this series after so long! :D
> 
> So, let me know what you thought in the commentsssssss  
> This is a mess, again, I am so sorry. It is currently 4:20 am (lmao - god i am such a child) and I do not have Scheherazade's guidance to not pull stupid shit like this.
> 
> also lmao there is more hattori screen time in here than kaito - god i want more heishin or queerplatonic heishin fics fnfndjvnvvsdvkj when i write its either too queer or too platonic oof


End file.
